[Is It Me, Or Is It You?]
Wouldn’t know what my mind goes through,
I keep it hidden..
I often find myself behind closed doors,
crying and bedridden..
No wonder I’m distant,
I’ve lost my vision —
as my eyes and cheeks stream with tears
that reflect an infinite glisten..
The sounds I hear provoke fear,
but I continue to listen..
“Got behind,
didn’t make the bed..
Never met the man —
it’s a sign I’ll never wed..
Always slouched —
everything feels like ouch..
Freaking out on my couch —
I obviously must be an Oscar the Grouch..
I’m much too quiet,
now I’m much too loud —
what the f*cks that about?
Now the only thing left to be said is
what’s ultimately been stuck in my head —
that I’d be better off dead..”
Depression I question you..
Is it really me,
or are the feelings I’ve been dealing with
just a reflection
of the deception from you?
A weapon
that you threaten
my presence through?
I’ve learned lessons,
so why can’t I just be independent of you?
You left impressions,
though I’ve got no resemblance of you..
Either way,
I have to say,
our relationship
is never gonna work..
It’s just too absurd
how you’ve never left me
with anything other
than feeling quite hurt..
So I sequester the pester
of moods you allude..
Starting now,
you can no longer use me
for your personal use..
Starting now,
I’m giving attention
to the routes that I choose..
After all,
I’ve got nothing to lose,
and nothing but room to improve —
that is,
once I’ve attuned you to mute..
I know you’ve cut me quite deep,
but the reality is
what will be will be —
and starting now,
I will no longer sheepishly weep..
Now I choose to keep my personal decency,
by leaving you quite peacefully,
and immediately
I’ve seamlessly found relief that I can finally breathe..
Isn’t it funny
how you seemed to think
I couldn’t be freed?
Yet, miraculously,
now I almost can’t believe,
how much I’ve found to recall
that I love being me..
drops 🎤✌🏽
🌻🌿
