[Flyaway (In Reverse)]
I’m elated to have come out of my shell,
to have broken the spell,
to have risen from hell..
Once a fallen angel,
entangled at every angle in cables of the totality of my own reality
from every moment I nearly jumped off without a second thought from my very own balcony..
There was grief that once so deranged my brain it pained me to see the blades that made me bleed and cascaded shame by chaining me from being able to see I could be free to be me..
I was preyed upon,
my inner being demanded to be gone like the plague,
I was desecrated and he wanted me to break..
I couldn’t convey or relay how he was aiming the wrong way,
how it was anything but okay,
all the things that he’d say
to make me pay for mistakes I never even made..
I could no longer maintain my attempts to persuade
when all remained within blame,
and there was nothing to gain, no more to explain..
So I disengaged from how he’d say I disobeyed,
how I misbehaved,
since it was too late to debate the fate he campaigned on display..
So drained and betrayed,
I became crazed and deranged
from being caged in restraints
that framed the flames that I bathed..
So I traded domain to live life and lay in a cave —
asleep but dreaming awake —
I laid in dismay to fade away by decay from a name placed in vain that could no longer be claimed..
I was too afraid to be saved,
I couldn’t face the blockades,
so I became criminally insane,
I began to degrade..
I just wanted to getaway,
to flyaway,
to pull the pin off a hand grenade and slam it down into my own custom made makeshift grave..
When I became so tired of this game,
I arranged a way to pave way for a new life —
an upgrade by beginning to replay the days I initially strayed..
🍃🍃🍃
And so, I can’t help but pause upon reflection
at all the connections I’ve made,
at all the people that stayed to continue to play with me,
that continued to provide aid to me
in ways that best phased my needs..
It was brave indeed,
to help clear the weeds and sow the seeds
that are now ingrained in me
to grow roots for the leaves of my trees,
which now weave through the breeze
to pave way away from the grief I received..
All this domestic and foreign aid became my apogee
and it’s all paid out quite handsomely —
cause now I’ve gone renegade and I’ve managed to flyaway —
but in reverse —
to rid myself of that distasteful curse
that seemed to bring out the very worst..
No longer living in a charade of masquerades,
I’ve been able to wipe away the pain like a wiper blade,
to view life from a new window frame and I’m unashamed
to claim fame as I drive life in the fast lane —
fast as an airplane, faster than a powertrain..
Hey — as long as we continue to reiterate mental reframing,
let’s stay life-sustaining by obtaining to be well-played by remaining amazing..
Maybe even throw in some cocaine and champagne
to make our journeys that much more entertaining..
Cause now there’s nothing left
except to maintain gaining..
drops 🎤✌🏽
🌻🌿
